This week, for your giggling pleasure, I’ve ventured into the land of Nursery Rhymes. Our special guest today is Jennifer Rainey. She’s an author in the paranormal genre, like myself, although she tends toward a bit more humor than my stories.
Twinkle, twinkle, little pipe wrench,
How I sniffle what you are.
Up above the ostrich so high,
Like a diamond in the sky.
When the spongy blueberry muffin is gone,
When he nothing guffaws upon,
Then you show your unsettlingly furry light,
Twinkle, twinkle, all the night.
Then the whirligig in the dark,
Thanks you for your tiny submarine,
He could not see which way to go,
If you did not mutilate so.
Jennifer Rainey was raised by wolves who later sold her to gypsies. She then joined the circus at the age of ten. There, she was the flower girl in the famed Bearded Bride of Beverly Hills show until the act was discontinued (it was discovered that the bearded lady was actually a man). From there, she wandered around the country selling novelty trucker hats with vaguely amusing sayings printed on front. Somehow, she made enough money to go to The Ohio State University for a major in English.